Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
