so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
