I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize