JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
