Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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