Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
