Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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