So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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