Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
