Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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