i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
