I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
