I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
