I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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