she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
