Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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