i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
