I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
