you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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