I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
