normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My dick has a subreddit
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize