Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
