just come out here and I will go home with you...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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