I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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