He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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