Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?

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(530): View more from California

Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.

(1-530): View more from California

at least it wasnt animals

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(407): View more from Florida

How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?

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(573): View more from Missouri

She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.

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