Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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