i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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