I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize