addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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