Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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