me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
