Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
