Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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