peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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