marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
