you mean i was at the winter classic?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
