Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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