I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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