Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
