Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
