this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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