Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We were destined to go to rehab together
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
