please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
