So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
