Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
