Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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