I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
