Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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