I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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