and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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