My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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