Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
