god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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