You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
