You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
