At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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