C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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