Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
