Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
