so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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