1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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