Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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