Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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