How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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