it glows. i had to have it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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