i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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